Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
