i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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