Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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