so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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