I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
