you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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