I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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