Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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