I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
What drink are we having for lunch?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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