I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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