with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
pray to the hookup gods
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
