i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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