4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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