that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize