My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
