yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
