Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
