Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
