the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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