It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you would pick up someone in the library
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
pop tarts are not kleenex
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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