i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
