im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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