i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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