I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.