there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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