I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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