whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
