i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
