We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Less talking, more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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