You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
