He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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