I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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