I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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