every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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