Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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