I can text with my tongue
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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