explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
