It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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