The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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