I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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