clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
