take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
