Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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