were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
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We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
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Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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