She's JV to your varsity
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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