We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
