please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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