I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
