i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
