You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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