Sry I called you an 8
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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