i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize