I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
