the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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