im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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