we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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