Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
