I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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