You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
