The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
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so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
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Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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