This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
