Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
