you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
