is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
