Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
